Brother
The sky is deathly dark,
yet my heart is open and free tonight.
Stars brightly lit,
the moon is full.
Magic is in the air.
Magic that can make one's dream a reality.
I am alone but feel comfort and love surrounding every part of my body.
I close my eyes and make my seemingly impossible wish.
"Inner peace" I say,
so silently that only the stars and I are able to hear my prayer,
My eyes are focused,
My heart is pounding,
I am ready.
"Free me from this broken. aching heart of mine........please...........please."
Silence.
Silence so deafening, it rocked me to my very core.
This silence felt as though it lasted an eternity.
Finally,
the stars whispered back.
Had I not been listening, I would have missed their delicate response.
"Accept the unknown," is what was softly spoken.
"believe in your heart, mind, and body. Peace is yours should you choose to have it."
Troubled by this answer,
I slowly melted to my knees and wept.
I wept for a long and seemingly endless time.
While I wept,
I repeated the stars answer in my head,
over, and over, and over again.
5 years I wept,
5 years I left the comfort of the stars,
5 years I chose to be alone.
Slowly my tears stopped.
The clouds that so ferociously filled my head began to clear,
I finally understood the stars simple answer!
That very night,
I waited till night was at its darkest and stars were at their brightest.
Humbly, meekly, and prayerfully,
I kneeled down.
A broken heart began to pray.
Pouring out every thought, confession, and uncertainty it had.
But as my heart concluded its prayer,
it was no longer broken,
but now strengthened.
No longer confused,
but accepted the hear and now.
No longer was it full of pain and grief,
but overcome with love and radiant hope.
I understood the stars message,
As I slowly rose to my feet, my eyes gazed past the stars and into the heavens.
"My dear sweet brother. The world will never be the same with out you in it.
There is a vacant hole in my heart
because of your absence.
Time and God has filled that hole,
with the tender memories and love I have for you.
I accept that I may never,
in this life,
know all of the answers..
I accept and trust in god for your safety.
I accept I may never see you again,
until eternity brings us back to each other.
I can finally accept the unknown.
I am free from the bondage of hate, mistrust, and anger your disappearance caused me to feel.
Though your absence will always sting,
I can finally let go of the past and the unknown.
I now am able to live in the present.
I look forward to the future.
Taking your memories with me as I move onward and upward,
I forgive myself
I love myself
and I love you,
my sweet brother,
Jesse.
By Gods great plan,
I will see you again."
Written by Niki
