Challenges we can't handle???

I have often heard people say, "God doesn't give you challenges you can't handle". I thought it was a great saying and I believed this to be true almost my entire life. Until one day I was faced with a challenge I could not handle.

This blog is about all of the thoughts I have had over the past five years and lessons I have learned. It is also about the lessons I am still learning. One big lesson I have learned? God does give you challenges you can not handle. Let me explain...


I thought I was a strong person. I am independent. I have an education. I am strong willed. I rarely ask for help with things and love to be in control of my life. Well, 5 years ago my life spun out of control and I realized I was weak. I couldn't understand why I was handling things so poorly. I felt so helpless. The life I had worked so hard to build was crumbling beneath me. All of the sudden I had no control of my life. I was too proud to admit it but I needed help.

I believe in God. I believe in something greater than this life. I believe in a higher power. I believe in life after death. I have always believed this. I still believe this. But, when I was faced with the challenge of my missing brother, I questioned everything I ever believed in. All the security of my faith seemed to be removed and I felt completely vulnerable and weak. I questioned everything in this world. How could God give me this challenge? I knew I could not handle this challenge. I became angry with God. I turned away from him and didn't look back.

I stayed angry with God for a few years and my faith in this life was fading fast. I decided to talk to my mother about how I felt. My mother, despite everything she has been through, is a woman of great faith. Her unwavering faith in God is what truly saved my life. I told her how angry I was with god and that this challenge was just too much for me to bear. My mother smiled and looked at me. She softly spoke and tenderly gave me a hug. she said, "Niki, I know people say that God doesn't give you a challenges you can't handle. That is completely untrue." I frowned and looked up at her, "What do you mean?"And her response will forever be engraved into my mind. She sat and thought for a moment and said, "I believe god does give you challenges you cannot handle on your own. This challenge we are facing as a family is too hard to bear. You are right. Niki, I have found that my biggest challenges are only able to be fought with God standing there by my side.  God does give us challenges we cannot handle, it is only through him, and with him, are we able to stand and fight these challenges".

This statement really hit hard for me. I had turned away from God for a long time. I hadn't even realized I had. It was only then I knew I had wasted 4 years of my life. 4 years had been wasted being angry and bitter with God. 4 years I had spent hating the life I had been given and 4 years I was ungrateful for what good things I had in my life.

I look up to my mother so much. The challenges she has been through in her life are unimaginable to me. Despite all of the challenges she has been through, her faith in God has never wavered. She has remained true and trusted in God to help her through her trials that she has been given. Her peaceful presence calms me whenever I am upset. She is truly an angel on earth.

I thought about what she said to me all week. I knew what I needed to do. I swallowed my pride and knelled down and prayed like I have never prayed before. As I began to pray, the tears I had denied myself for so long came streaming down my face. "Lord, I am not able to bear this burden on my own. I need your help. Please...Please...please" I whispered, "help me." I sat and cried for a very long time.

Looking back It was the hardest prayer I have ever spoken. BUT, it was one of the most important lessons I have learned in my life. Swallowing my pride and asking for help is what softened my heart and got me to open up and start this blog. Had I not asked for help, my heart would be hard and unkind. Today my heart is so full of love and hope for the future. That is all thanks to god and my mother.

God does give us challenges we cannot handle on our own. Through god, our burdens can and will be lifted and made easier to bear. The difference for me was night and day. He is always there waiting to help us. We just need to ask. I am so grateful to have a mother who has been such a good example to me. Her faith in God has helped me through the most difficult challenges.
 
I found it so amazing that admitting I was weak made me stronger. Most of us at one point or another will be faced with a challenge we cannot handle on our own. Having God back in my life has made all the difference. I have learned that I may turn away from him, but just like I would never turn away from my own children,  no matter what they did. He will never turn away from me. I learned he was always there waiting for me to ask for help. I was just too stubborn to ask. He is there for me like I am there for my kids and he me loves unconditionally.

I hope if you get anything out of this post, you get that the challenges in this world are too hard to bear alone. Pride is the ultimate killer. God is the ultimate savior.