Content without WHEN

Falling victim to the word WHEN:

I am a child up in my favorite tree. Playing my game of hide and seek. Mom calls me in because it is dinner time. I am so disappointed. " Awe! Just 5 more minutes? When is she ever going to let me finish my games?" I think to myself. "I can't wait till when I am a grown up. Then no one can tell me what to do!" 

I am 15 years old and need a ride to my friends house. "Mom, can I get a ride?" I wait for a response. "Um, yeah sure honey, but not for at least 45 minutes. "45 more minutes! I could just drive the car! I'm practically 16 anyways! Oh MAN! This sucks!" I sit and wait for 45 minutes until my mom is ready. she comes for me and smiles. I look at her and say, "When I'm 16, things will get better. I just know it!"

I am a brand new baby mother. Oh look at my precious baby! Isn't she adorable!!! ----Wait! Everyone just left! I'm all alone with the baby! Oh No!!! What do I do? I don't know how to be a mom!! I wanted to say, "Come back! You guys should have her. You were so much better with her!" Instead, I quieted down and talked to no one. I simply thought to myself, ok this is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. But I love her so incredibly so. I made a note in my head, "When Alexis is 2 and can do things a little more on her own I will be a happy. Things will get easier then....."

I have two more children very close together. Chase and Landon. They are 18 months apart. They were both 2 of my best surprises!!! They are fireballs of energy! I seriously want a tranquilizer gun at times for them. But I hear that is illegal. Oh well. j/k They are crazy. I keep telling myself. I will be happy when they get a little older and they slow down a little bit. I could use just a little down time...

Beckham is still hiding poop in the laundry vents.......I will be happy when he is potty trained.

Kirt and I are trying to buy a home. A beautiful home. We are renting right now and we absolutely hate it. We want to have a place to call our own. We have been trying to close on this home for over 7 months. It has been an absolute nightmare!!!  Kirt and I believe we will be happy when we close on this house...

But wait.....then there's that credit card we forgot to pay off......ok we will finally be happy when that is paid off!

But what about all the project you need to get done to fix your new house? OK fine.....after that we will be happy.

But what about........

ALRIGHT!!!! I get it. It's never gonna be good enough. I'm always going to say, "I'll be happy when...." I have my entire life. I'm always looking ahead in life. Planning for the future. Trying to make my life a better one. All good things. But as I look ahead I miss what is standing right in front of me. What is presently here with me in this exact moment.

As I am saying this I look down I see 4 pairs of the most beautiful blue eyes gazing up at me. Smiling.

"Where did you come from?" It is my 2 boys, chase and landon, and cute little lexi. They had been staring for quiet some time. Too cute.

My friends and I all went out to dinner a few nights ago and she said something that really hit hard for me. She said, As a parent I went through so many stages of acceptance. I was so giddy and excited at first, and then I felt I was really bad at it, and I was mad and sad that I was bad at it. Then I learned to accept that I really was a mom and this is how it was going be. So she is trying to learn to be great at it.

I loved her honestly. "Well, this is my situation. I can either make the best or the worst out of it." She chose to make the best out of a situation she felt very unsure of. She is an amazing mother by the way.

The same goes for the word WHEN. I have used the phrase, "I'll be happy when..." or "Things will get better when....." And you find yourself waiting and waiting because the when always changes. Something else always comes up. It's a TRAP!

How about I am happy? When I wake up in the morning and my husband is able to go to work, I'm grateful. I am happy when my boys are home with their high energy! I only get them like this for so long. they make life fun.

I am happy lexi grew into her 8 year old body! She is such a joy and I love the moments we share.

What I am saying is CONTENT. Being content with ourselves and our lives. There will always be a need to have something done. There will always be project. There will never be another now.  Take the now and live in it. Be present in your own life.

Being content with my life right now has been a true struggle for me. But seriously? What do I have to complain about? We have a roof over our heads and food to eat. The words WHEN should not exist in my vocabulary.

I heard the word content and me are rivals and it is my goal this week to make her my best friend. I will never let WHEN win again. I will never wait for WHEN, I will never live in the future but run in the present. 

Because it is never, when we will be happy, it is yes, we are happy!