Sunday, March 31, 2013

What We Have Once Enjoyed We Can Never Loose

This post is dedicated to my Grandma Ogden. I am so sorry for your loss. I love you. I miss you. I can't wait to give you a big hug. This is also in memory of my Aunt Donna.

One Christmas instead of giving gifts I wanted to give a memory to my family. I think there is no better gift than a cherished memory.  In our family Jesse, is a cherished memory. Sometimes in life that is all we have left of someone. A cherished memory. But that is what I love about memories. That is what I love about the heart. All those who leave us in this life live in us. They become a part of us.

There is a famous quote by Helen Keller that says, "What we have once enjoyed, we can never loose, all that we love becomes apart of us." It is a quote that really made me stop and think. It made me stop and think because it was so true. I am who I am today because of the people who raised me. I am who I am because of the people I have loved and let into my heart. They are a part of who I am. Even in death I will not loose them. They remain ever so close to me. They remain in the deepest part of my heart. The part that loves, cherishes, remembers, and knows that this is not the last time I will see them again. The part that gives me hope and strength. Strength to endure the pain I may feel in their absence.

So on Christmas Day instead of giving gifts I wanted to give a memory of Jesse to my family. I remember being so scared to share it with everyone, just like I am to share it with you now. But I felt as time was going by my memories were starting to fade. So I decided to write them down. You never realize how beautiful a person is until you write down everything you love about them. Try it one day. If there is someone you admire, write down what you love about them. You will be surprised how long the list is. Appreciate them while they are here.

When Jesse went missing I thought a huge chunk of my heart was taken away. When in reality,  he just moved in. My heart swelled with love and admiration for him. It was overwhelming. Every memory flooded my brain. My love for him is stronger now than ever before. He is a part of me. I am so blessed to have been his sister. My time with him was short, but he was worth every second. I will take this pain just to know him. I am a better person because of my sweet brother. Here is the Poem I wrote describing who Jesse was.

JESSE
Beautiful brother
beautiful friend
Beautiful soul
Beautifully complicated
 faces shine when he enters the room
No matter the topic
Humor is never far from his lips
Joy whenever he is near
Spontaneously stupid
Crazy fun
Unconditionally loved
Amazingly witty
But surprisingly tender
Always a comfort
Always understanding
Always a gift to be around
Grateful to know him
Grateful to love him
Proud he is family
Never knowing his own beauty
But always seeing others
His absence piercing
But his spirit strong
His love all around us
His memories treasured
His laughter cherished
His beauty incomparable
Together again
Our Family Forever

For all those who have lost a loved one, from the deepest part of my heart I wish you comfort. I pray that you find peace in your sorrows. I am never one to say the road is easy all that matters is that you keep getting up. Doesn't matter how many times you fall, how gracefully you got up, it matters you keep getting up and you cross that finish line. Remember, "What we have once enjoyed we can never loose, all that we love becomes a part of us." 

Grandma Ogden---I love you. I am so sorry about Aunt Donna. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Love to all my family at this time. You guys are the best!!!

3 comments:

  1. I couldn't sleep tonight... the babies are finally sleeping basically through the night and I can't turn off my brain. So I'm catching up on your blog! I hope you don't mind but I copied a few lines from this post and typed it up to put on my mirror in my bathroom so I can see it everyday. Haha. you are pretty much my hero for writing your thoughts and feelings for the world to see. I really enjoy reading it.

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    1. Ok. That is honestly the greatest and best compliment I have ever received. Forget the "your pretty" compliments, You put your thoughts out there and you feel naked! That makes me feel so good that you liked some of those quotes! Hey, guess what! Jenna liked that Helen Keller one so much it is tattooed on her back!! What the crap!!! How did I become an accomplice to that?! Crazy! Funny though. I like all your comments. You are the best cousin ever!! niki

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  2. Oh I think I did see that. I don't think you were the accomplice though. Haha you are funny.

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This blog is mainly written by Niki Michaelis. There have been two other co-writers so far: Jenna Pinegar and Sarah Cook. If you need help finding a loved one please contact me. I would be more than willing to put your loved ones picture up and story to get more people looking for your loved one. Email me at themissingpiece777@gmail.com. Will contact you as soon as possible.