Homeless...

What do you think when you see a homeless person on the streets asking for money? I am a woman doomed to have a guilty conscience. So, if I have money in my purse I will give it to whoever holds up a sign. If  I can't help that way, I might buy them a meal or give them a blanket. Doesn't matter what they look like, act like, or even if they've been there for three months holding the same sign...I'm gonna give them money. This drives my husband crazy. I know what a lot of people think. They think, "He's using it on drugs or alcohol." and I don't blame anyone for thinking that. (a lot of the time it is true). But, How do you know who needs it and who doesn't? Unless you have time to do detective work, you don't know. My philosophy, "Better safe than sorry". That may not be yours, but like I said, I am a woman cursed with a guilty conscience. Kirt was determined to cure me of this.

One day, years ago, Kirt and I went to California for a vacation with some friends. We decided to go to Tijuana, Mexico to shop for some good deals. We got there early and all the girls were told not to give any money away. If we did we could run the risk of having a swarm of kids follow us through town the entire time we were there. Right when we got into town, the cutest little boy came to us. He could only have been 5. Nothing was said but the word "please". He held his tiny fingers out and I noticed the boy was very dirty and his clothes had holes everywhere. My heart sank. I went to dig in my purse but was cautioned against it. They didn't want to cause a swarm of kids coming around us when we had just arrived. My eyes filled with tears but I listened and took my hand out of my purse. I smiled at the boy. His face is still imprinted in my brain. He looked at me and his eyes sank. His eyes were a beautiful dark brown that touched my heart. 6 adults and one child. I could tell the boy was tired. He slowly walked away. He went over to his mother sitting not far from us and sank deep into her chest. The mother held him while he cried.

I turned away with tears streaming down my face I went to finish the shopping that seemed so pointless now. We were there for a couple of hours and I did not see one child. No one asked us for money. Just the little boy from earlier. I was so upset. Kirt gave in. It wasn't worth the fight. I would win so he just said, "Go find him".

As we were leaving, I searched for the boy. I was ready to give him some money. There was no curing me. I'm doomed to give money away whenever possible. I went to the place where we first saw him. He was nowhere to be found. My heart sank. I searched for 15 minutes but I could not find him. He was gone. I cried all the way back to the hotel. My guilty conscience was going to be the end of me.

Here's what I think when I see a homeless person. I think, that is someone's son. That is someone's daughter. What would I hope for if my son were on the streets and needed help? I would hope they gave him the benefit of the doubt.

I think of Jesse and not knowing where he is. Every time I give someone money I think of him. Most likely he is dead and I'm not ever going to see him in this lifetime. But, if he was alive and he did need help and food. If he was alone and afraid. I pray every night that someone would give him a warm meal. Someone would give him shelter. Someone would give him the benefit of the doubt. 

I think of the mother's out there that could have that same prayer for their child who is on the streets. Praying that someone could help them and give them hope. I may give my money to a the wrong person but I never want to risk not giving it to the right person. I can't judge who needs help. All I can do is help when I can. In return I hope that if Jesse or someone like Jesse ever needed help, they would see past the dirty clothes and ragged appearance and help him.

Help when you can.....you never know if they are the one a family is missing.